


incandescent.

by romanticsteggy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A Stark Party, Avenger Reader (Marvel), Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Steve Rogers, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 17:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18124604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticsteggy/pseuds/romanticsteggy
Summary: steve’s struggle throughout a night of spiteful jealousy and worful longing.





	incandescent.

**Author's Note:**

> my first marvel story i wrote. forgive typos im too lazy to read this lmaoo

He watched you with bated breath. The way you made your entrance was preternatural. You immediately captivated everyone in the room without your knowledge, or even your effort. Your beauty spoke for itself, feeding off the expensive gown you wore. Your hair swayed as you walked, dusting across the exposed expanse of your back. His fingers twitched against his thighs as he longed to run them against your supple skin. He ached to feel your warmth against him, your own hands smoothing over his dress shirt, sneaking under his suit jacket to soothe him the way only you could. He knew you would dominate any conversation he would have; smiling and laughing at whoever wealsed their way into your company. Steve would be the accessory to you, the second in command and he wouldn't care a bit.

Everyone was dressed extravagantly tonight. The mansion Tony had rented out for tonight's benefit was dripping in opulence, it was like nothing Steve had ever seen. And seeing his team, friends and other patrons of the event in such a high class black tie almost transported him back in time. Like he was sat in an old movie theater watching Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart traipse around the screen all over again... but this time he was on the screen too. It made Steve look upon the event with a eumoirous awe. He couldn't believe this was his life.

And his awe only flourished when you walked in, mink (no doubt faux) shawl hugging your shoulders and upper arms. One of the men taking coats, who couldn't be more than eighteen, stood and looked at you with a starstruck expression. Steve knew by the way Sam was smirking at him, that he wore a similar look.

You gracefully handed the shawl to the boy with a smile and a few words that left him stammering. It seemed he finally managed to piece together some semblance of a sentence as Steve watched his mouth move and your smile grow. Tony was soon there to put the poor kid out of his misery, saying a brief word to him before he escorted you down the grand staircase. Your danity hand secured in Tony’s as he helped you down the steps, your other hand hovering over the spotless banister. Eyes usually followed Tony wherever he went, and now with you locked in his grip, Steve swore every eye in the room was on you two. As you and Tony reached the floor, people swarmed to you, and you accepted them all and greeted them with ease. Tony watched upon you with a small small, and Steve couldn't help the gnaw of jealousy he felt as he watched the both of you.

That should be you, A spiteful voice growled in him.

Luckily, Steve was more passive than spiteful. So, he stayed watching you from above, rather than running down the staircase to wrap you posessively in his arms.

“Why don’t you just go and talk to her? It’s as simple as approaching her and making mouth sounds.” Sam said in mocking simplicity.

“She’s busy with Stark,” Steve hummed evenly, nodding to you and Tony.

Steve sipped his drink and watched you from over the rim as Tony spun you in a circle to the old funk song that just came on, one Tony no doubt put in the rotation. Your head was thrown back gleefully as Tony sang along perfectly to the song, making faces and whispering in your ear.

Tony was everything but a threat on Steve’s impending or non-existent (it depends on the day) relationship with you. He was head over heels in love with his wife, the wife in which whom you were maid of honor for, but Steve still couldn't help hating the way Tony acted around you. You had an interesting bond, one formed from years of friendship and agony that Steve would never be able to comprehend. One that brought out innocent flirting and child-like touches. Steve wondered if it bothered Pepper? He wished to ask her one day, if maybe, hopefully, and if all the Gods permitted for you to become his. 

“And that matters why? Just go and talk to her! She’ll light up like a fucking Christmas tree when she sees you’re here. She always does.” Sam commented, watching you as you glided around the marble floors.

He would never say anything to Steve, since he was against tense silences, but watching you was like looking straight at the sun, but no pain came from it, only intense pleasure and holding beauty.

“Yeah, sure.” Steve scoffed.

“Oh, come on, seriously?”

“What?”

“Don’t what me, Rogers! I won’t be a part of this little pity party you’re throwing yourself.” Sam retorted, “Stop hopstoching around your feelings for that girl and do something. I don’t have time for this chicken-shit bullshit anymore.”

Steve’s jaw pulsed before sarcastically chiding, “You’re a real good friend, anyone ever tell you that?”

“All the time.” Sam spoke dryly into his glass as he took a drink.

Steve shook his head, annoyed with his bluntly forthright friend before actually taking his advice and beginning to descend the staircase. Coming onto the floor, he kept his sights trained on you. Dodging and weaving his way through the crowd of people. His apologizing and quick small talk with the people he passed must have caught your attention, because the next time he looked up, you were staring right at him. And dammit if Steve didn't feel his asthma creep back into his lungs.

He watched as you excused yourself quickly from the conversation you were having with an older couple, giving Tony a quick squeeze of the arm before you finally started your way to him. The closer you came to him, the more Steve felt like you were actually standing still and your gravitational pull was sucking him limply to you. Either why he didn't care. He’d happily be a planet in your orbit as long as you smiled as brightly as you were right now.

“You’re here! Tony said he thought you were hiding out somewhere.” Your voice was soft and sweet and put Steve previous worries of approaching you at rest.

“Yeah, Sam was chatting up some girls and I couldn't find a second to escape.” Steve said noncommittally, hoping you wouldn't catch his lie.

“Always the wingman, aren't we?” You quirked an eyebrow at him that had Steve grinning.

“It seems to be that way, yes.” He chuckled, looking down at his shoes before he raised his gaze back to yours.

“Do you think you could help out one more person tonight?” You were already invading his personal space to rest your hand gently on his suit jacket to hold his biceps. Steve had anticipated this move and had happily stuck his arm out for you in invitation, “I am absolutely bored to death talking with all these people! This is a party, is it not? I want to have some fun with someone who isn't a hundred.”

“Then I’m afraid that I’m not the right wingman to latch onto,” Steve pointed out, already starting to distance the two of you from the other patrons.

“I misspoke,” You looked up at him and Steve could see your smirk in his periphery, “I want to have some fun with someone who doesn't look one hundred! And you don’t look a day over thirty.”

“I usually get twenty-nine.” He hummed playfully, reaching his destination of a tall vacant standing table for you both to lay low at.

“You really must give me the name of your night cream! I want to look all sexy when I start to get up there.” You played back.

“Come on, doll, let me have some secrets.” Steve smiled as you detached from his arm and rested your elbows on the tabletop.

You rolled your eyes, “But really, how’s your night? Are you having a nice time?”

“I am now.” Steve said, lopsided grin pulling at his lips.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes again, “Ever the charmer…”

“Nah, that’s Buck, remember?” Steve replied lightly.

“Not tonight.” You looked up at him with something other than acknowledgement. 

If Steve was an optimist, he maybe would say adoration. But it passed it off as friendly affection. You were a walking angel, tonight and every other moment of your life. What you would do with a guy like himself was beyond him.

“Yeah, well, when he’s not here, I gotta pick up the slack.” Steve maneuvered around the look.

“It’s too bad he’s doing recon… You both are always my favorite part of parties like this. Sam, too.” You smiled fondly for his missing best friend.

“You keep calling this a party when it’s really a benefit, y’know. Since when are benefits parties?” Steve asked, slithering just an inch closer to your pull.

“Have enough fun, anywhere is a party, Rogers. Have a taught you nothing?” You smirked.

“No, you’ve taught me a lot.” Now it was time for Steve to give you a look.

And for you to disregard it as innocent.

You both chatted a bit more, flirting just to have the other blush, telling stories that made the other laugh harder than expected. At one point, Steve had ventured shortly off to snag you both some flutes of champagne. Watching your perfectly shaped lips drink in the bubbly liquid was a magnificent sight or behold. Eyes fluttering, slender fingers holding the flute delicately, one pinky held up out of reflex. Everything you did Steve swore could be a poem. He’d do his best to write aureate words and pictures in millions of poems to do his best to capture your radiant beauty. But Steve knew he could become this ages Lord Byron and still wouldn't be able to do you justice. You were more than words could describe, but Steve would spend his life till his dying die trying too so he could finally tell you just exactly how he felt.

“You know,” Your mouth quirked up again, but the rest of your sentence never came.

“There you are! Since when are you so hard to track down?” Tony’s self assured voice boomed and both you and Steve whipped your heads to look at him.

Steve felt himself step involuntarily closer to you as he saw who was in Tony’s company.

“Since forever. Being a stupid spy and all.” You shrugged playfully, your eyes moving to the man next to him and giving him a friendly smile.

“You’re my shining star tonight and your over here in the dark. What gives?” Tony took your hand from the table and placed a kiss to your knuckles, not missing Steve’s scoff.

“Stars shine in the night sky, genius boy. Think of a better metaphor.” You pluck your hand back from Tony’s hold and skirt closer to Steve, resting your temple to his forearms.

At the light touch, Steve wanted to punch both men and scream at them to leave you both be, but like before… not spiteful… not jealous...

Your left hand came to fuss with Steve’s cufflink, your fingertips whispering to his skin small bouts of affection.

“This is Captain Rogers and (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” Steve gave a curt nod to the man who returned it, and you… you just ignored him altogether, Steve’s sleeve was far too interesting.

“(Y/N), I’d like you’d Tevin Richardson, an up and comer with SHIELD.” Tony introduced the man and Steve immediately saw where this was going.

God, he just wished you were his.

“Hmm,” You hummed unintresidly, “Not quite Trevor, not quite Devin, huh?”

Steve felt his chest puff with his suppressed laughter.

“Yes, well, um,” Tevin stumbled before he recovered, “The pleasure is all mine.”

He stuck out his hand for you to shake and you did lightly, “Oh I’m sure.”

Tony burst out into forced laughter, “See! I told you, she’s quite the character. But that’s why you love her!” 

Tony reached out to take your arm and pull you up right and too him. As Steve saw it, it was Tony ripping a piece of him away.

“I wanted both you and Tevin to meet some people.” Tony said, gesturing for you take Tevin’s outstretched arm.

“Oh wonderful.” To Tevin this most likely sounded normal, but to Tony and Steve, they knew you were less than pleased to be escorted back out onto the floor.

“Hope you don’t mind me borrow her for a while, Captain.” Tevin joked, one that most certainly rubbed him the wrong way.

“Borrow? She’s not a fucking sweater you deft piece of shit! Comparing a woman like this to an object is not only laughable, but a clear measure of your intelligence. And while we’re at it, I do fucking mind. So fuck right off before I make a scene in front of more people than Tony and my girl!”

But all he really said was, “Not at all. Have fun.”

The have fun was directed solely at you, and not at jackass Tevin.

You gave Steve one last longing glance, one that said I’m sorry, and something more, before you were whisked away into the crowd.

The places where your fingers had been burned like hot irons against his skin now that you were gone.

**

Steve watched you like a brooding cloud the rest of the night, hovering above you with a drink always placed in his hand. Tony and Tevin kept you busy and from his grasp the rest of the night. He expertly avoided anyone who was planning to approach him, and the ones who did always got a short courtesy conversation before Steve would excuse himself to do more sulking. He kept a close eye on your expression the best he could from the angles he was granted. You were beaming, smiling, laughing, making it appear that you were having a wonderful time. But when someone wasn't looking at you, your face would fall just enough for Steve to notice. He took some sick enjoyment in knowing you were having much more fun with him than you were having now. But then he would just feel guilty. Guilty that he was happy because of your misery, something he never wished to see you in.

Steve Rogers knew he could be a selfish man, but he never wanted to be that man with you. You deserved more than a petulant child who was sullenly following you around all night.

So, Steve left you to your many adoring suitors and onlookers. Even with your changed mood, you still enraptured the party. You were the centerpiece, in every sense of the word stunning. You were meant to be adored by the masses, and Steve just couldn't handle that right now. You couldn't be adored by just him, no matter how much Steve wished that were different.

Out on the balcony was were Sam found him an hour later, hunched over the railing, his broad shoulder blocking a piece of the New York skyline. With an annoyed sigh, he went out join his friend, leaning his back to the city.

“For a guy known for his perseverance, you sure give up easy.” Sam said, curling his lips in and rocking on his heels.

“Not in the mood.” Came Steve’s throaty response.

“No one is ever in the mood for hard truths. But they gotta come at some time or another.” Sam shrugged.

“And that times gotta be now?” Steve turned to face his friend.

“These things seem to come a head at inopportune times.” He turned to lean his forearms on the railing now, too.

“Inopportune timing… seems to be the story of my life.” Steve chuckled humorlessly.

“You really should be better than rolling with the punches by now then.” It was Sam’s turn to chuckle.

“Usually I am. But with her… damn it’s like I can’t breathe… can’t think. It’s torture, I’ll tell ya that much.” Steve shook his head, finally opening up for the night. 

He’d never been great with women, but after coming out of the ice and his short trysts with Sharon and a few others, he thought things were getting easier. But boy was he wrong. Or maybe it was easier and you were just his beautiful, stunning, breathing taking achilles heel.

“Good thing she’s good at talkin’ then.” Sam huffed.

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I’ll stumble out my confession and she eloquently turn me down.”

“You know she wouldn’t, man.” Sam shook his head.

“Yeah well, I really don’t. If I thought her feelings for me were different I wouldn't be out here freezin’ my ass off with you.” Steve straightened his back, but kept a strong hold on the railing.

“You don’t notice the Christmas Tree thing, no matter how many times it happens.” Sam shook his head again, astonished that he followed this man into battle! This man who was so clearly blind.

“What?”

“Here you go with the whats again,” Sam chuckled, pushing himself away from the railing.

“Come on, seriously,” Steve finally turned to watch his friend retreat, “Sam, what does it mean.”

“Think about what I said earlier. If you can’t remember, you’re really succumbing to your age, Cap.” And with that, he retreated back inside.

Steve stood rooted to the ground, staring at the spot Sam once was as he thought.

“She’ll light up like a fucking Christmas tree when she sees you’re here. She always does.”

The words now skipped uncomfortably in his mind. Repeating numbly as he mulled them over. Sure she smiled when she saw him, she smiled at most people! And yes, she found ways to touch him in little ways, but she did that with Stark too. She was just a friendly person… though she often complained about having to be that person. Always on, always smiling and in a good mood. She’d complain about how Tony would force her to be that person when it was clear she didn't want to be, like tonight for example. A night she had been more than content to spend with him. In fact, maybe that was a common theme…

“I like just being with you. It’s some of the only time I get to be myself, sadly. You make me feel safe enough to just be me.”

Steve had written it off as a kinship the both of you shared, the burden of a persona, but now he felt like maybe he was wrong. With Sam’s words rattling in his ears, he couldn't help but wonder, to hope that maybe you meant something more.

“Steve, are you alright?”

Steve snapped from his haze and looked to where you now stood in the doorway.

“Uh, I, um, yeah. I’m fine.” He cursed himself silently.

“You sure? Sam just caught me and told me you were out here. Said you looked like you could use some company.” You were walking towards him and somehow there wasn't enough air in New York to help Steve calm himself.

“Oh, well, uh, you didn't have to come out here. I’m fine, really.” Steve gave a tight lipped smile.

“Well, I hope it's alright if I stay anyway? It was getting a bit hot in there,” You walked to where Steve had stood and he followed obediently, “Plus, I missed you. These things just aren't any fun without you there.”

I missed you.

“Come on, you just saw me an hour or two ago.” Steve replied bashfully, blushing as he looked out over the streets.

“Doesn’t make it any less true.” You smiled up at him, watching the plains of his face and how the city lights played and contoured around it.

“You sure you just didn't miss decent company? That Tevin guy didn’t look to be your cup of tea.” He was testing to waters, if you backed down now, so would he.

You scoffed in disgust, “God, that guy. Absolute snob and a half! Self entitled, chauvinistic, arrogant, just an all around asshole.”

You sighed deeply before your sour expression faded. Steve swore your face really did light up, “You would have been much better to spend my time with. Far better than decent.”

You gave him a sweet smile before directing your eyes to the city. Steve could vaguely hear you talking about how you loved New York this time of year, but he couldn't find it in himself to reply. You were standing with him in the freezing cold night, confessing to missing him and wearing expression he could only ever wish to see you wear. You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and you were cozying up to him while a whole benefit full of people were waiting for you. But you didn't care, you just wanted to be with him. Because you missed him. And damn it if that wasn't enough for Steve to take a leap of faith.

After having said a few more things without any reply, you flicked your eyes over to Steve, who was still staring at you intently.

“What? Is there something on my fac-”

Steve couldn't wait any longer. He moved his hand to grip your cheek and slammed his lips down on yours. It took you a second to process what was happening, but when it registered, you kissed him right back. Your hands came to match his on his own cheeks, pulling him impossibly close.

The bite of the cold air didn’t seem to matter anymore. Where you two were was absolutely warm.

Steve eventually pulled away. Though, not without two more lingering kisses that you happily returned. When he was back to having some semblance of personal space, it was time to open his eyes.

Yours were still closed, fluttering slowly open to face him. Your expression was unreadable.

Steve panicked.

“I hope that, was, uh, alright that, I,” He was doing his best not to hyperventilate.

“No, no, no! It was,” You breathed a deep sigh before grinning, “Everything I ever hoped it would be.”

Now his breathing stopped altogether.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Stopped a little sooner than I would have liked, but other than that, completely and utterly perfect.” You ran your thumbs loving over his jaw as you spoke.

“Perfect?” He was still trying to find his footing.

“I’d say so.” Your smile was blinding.

Steve finally matched your expression, shaking his head.

“So, you, uh, you, um,” Steve was trying to find a way to ask do you like me, without sounding like a pubest child.

“If you’re asking what I think you’re asking, then yeah. Very much and a lot.” You moved closer to him again.

His heart had never beat so fast and his smile was beginning to ache, “Me too. Very much and a lot.”

“Good thing,” You muttered, closing in on his lips again.

“Right?”

Steve felt like his chest was about to crack open by the sheer number of beats his heart was making, but he could have honestly cared less. You very much and a loted him! And that made everything else seem so small and meaningless. 

So he kissed you harder and with more passion than he had before, and now that he thought about, harder and with more passion than he ever kissed someone.

And Steve wouldn't have had it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed!! if you did, let me know with a kudo, bookmark or comment (O:


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